A rite that has changed the most, and a 2014 video at Yangdong

The four lifelong rites commonly spoken of as coming of age, marriage, funeral, and ancestral offering have, the writer says, been simplified to fit a modern form. Coming-of-age and wedding ceremonies have in practice been adapted from Western forms to a Korean setting. Ancestral offerings, whose form is hard to find in the West, still keep a traditional Korean shape, and funerals follow a family’s own culture, choosing a Western or an Eastern form. A wedding often holds a Western ceremony and then an Eastern one again, so Eastern wedding culture is maintained; the coming-of-age rite, the writer says, has changed the most.

With the arrival of a capitalist society, commercial business now often takes the place of the rite. A marketing that says perfume should be given as a gift at the coming-of-age has succeeded, and those coming of age have become a target for perfume firms. Many, the writer says, treat the day as a day to receive a gift rather than a day to recall the mind an adult should have, and this is not desirable. A rite grounded in Confucian spirit is the day when those coming of age know their duties as members of society, and the starting point of various courtesies. That meaning is fading, but materialism alone cannot be blamed. A more fundamental cause is that the rite itself has been losing popularity and is no longer performed, so that those just coming of age cannot know that spirit. These notes therefore focus on the Korean coming-of-age rite, traditionally called gwallye, and look at a 2014 video of a ceremony at Yangdong village, in order to say what the rite is and what direction it should take in Korea. That year stays in 2014.

Names, Joseon teaching, and the steps of the day

In traditional society the coming-of-age rite, gwallye, is the ceremony that formally marks a passage from the world of a child into the world of an adult. The name differed by sex: a man’s rite was gwallye, a woman’s was gyerye. It is the first of the lifelong rites, and it was meant to place on the child the responsibility of an adult and, through that, to establish a human ethical order. Once the rite is done, others no longer use the childhood name but call the courtesy name; they use honorifics in conversation; if one bows, the other must return the bow, and the person is treated as an adult. It is a social recognition that a child has at last become an adult, a member not only of a family but of a society. People in the past, the writer says, thought the coming-of-age rite more important than a wedding, and even an unmarried person, once the rite was complete, received the full treatment of an adult.

In Korea it was performed in earnest, and popularly, from the early Joseon period. Because Confucian thought was the foundation of the dynasty, the royal court took Zhu Xi’s Family Rituals as a basis and began, at a national level, to spread various Confucian ceremonies among the people. Through the people’s voluntary practice of those ceremonies, including the coming-of-age rite, the state taught a Confucian idea of loyalty: a child is filial to parents, a younger brother respects an elder brother, a subject is loyal to the king, and a junior respects a senior. Confucian ceremonies, the writer takes it, were performing an educational function in society, teaching a Confucian spirit.

The traditional steps begin with choosing a date and, three days before, announcing the rite at the ancestral shrine. Guests are chosen and asked to come, told again the day before, the place is prepared, and on the morning of the day the clothes are laid out. The host and all the others stand in their assigned places and wait; when the guests arrive, the host greets them, and the host presides over everything. This prepares a sacred place, a presider, and the needed things with care, and finally seats everyone by rank, so that the ceremony can go on in a sacred atmosphere cut off from daily life, and so that the person coming of age can mentally prepare for a break from childhood.

On the day a family rite is held, and three times a cap is put on and clothes are changed, which means integration into the adult world. The three steps are called a first capping, a second capping, and a third capping. The first symbolizes the death of the child’s world and a rebirth as a new adult; at this point the person, for the first time, ties a topknot and wears a headband, showing that they have become an adult. Then comes a step of sharing wine, a transitional rite of passage through which a new status or relation is acquired. After that a courtesy name is given, the adult name by which the person will be called. Last, greetings are made to the ancestors at the shrine, and to all who came and to the elders, and recognition as an adult is received. The writer confirmed these steps through a video of a coming-of-age ceremony held at Yangdong village in 2014. Because it was a video, only the scenes of changing clothes three times and greeting the ancestors could be seen, but even that was enough to feel the solemn atmosphere and the person’s resolve. That year stays in 2014.

What still teaches, and what stands in the way

Even seen on video, the writer says, the solemn atmosphere could be felt, and the rite clearly has a useful function that society can still perform. That educational function can give young people in a society that is growing lighter a good lesson in responsibility. But the traditional rite has complicated steps, and preparing clothes and the like raises a large question of cost. Difficult Chinese-character terms are also used, which, the writer thinks, has made public resistance greater. In a modern society that guarantees freedom of religion, a rite that perhaps insists too much on the traditional method may be taken as not quite fitting. In the course of a ceremony according to Confucian tradition, some words in the officiant’s address also plant fixed ideas about the roles of men and women, and there are parts that are not appropriate today.

Because of these troubles, the writer says, the coming-of-age rite in modern times survives only as a reconstruction of the traditional rite by a few groups. Measures are needed, the writer thinks, to overcome these problems and to take on the spirit of the traditional rite. First, to address the lack of popularity, the writer recommends that easy, commonly used words, including Hangul, be used rather than terms in classical Chinese. The notes do not go on to a longer list of measures, and none is invented here. The same Korean essay, at fuller length, is on CampusDown.

Sources

1. A student essay on the meaning of the Korean coming-of-age rite, traditionally called gwallye for men and gyerye for women, and on the direction it should take.
2. A 2014 video of a ceremony at Yangdong village, left in that year, in which the writer could see the three changes of clothes and the greeting to the ancestors.
3. Early Joseon popularization on the basis of Zhu Xi’s Family Rituals, and the writer’s cautions about cost, difficult terms, and fixed ideas of gender roles.

Last updated: 14 November 2026