— Overview
A family is treated as one organism: if one part fails, the whole feels it, as a machine does when a single piece breaks. Family therapy, still without one settled definition, is a way of working on the problems that affect a family’s health and function, looking at a person’s trouble in the larger unit, as a specialist named Michael Herkopf is cited as saying. Kore-eda Hirokazu’s film Still Walking is read through Bowen.
Ryota, the second son, visits the family house each summer with Yukari, the woman he will marry. His elder brother died fifteen years earlier, jumping in to save a boy from the water. The parents, Toshiko and Kyohei, still compare Ryota with the dead son, to whom the father had wanted to leave the hospital. A boy the brother saved, Yoshio, comes every year on the anniversary; when Ryota says the visits are hard, the mother says she wants to give the boy the pain of having lost a son.
The film ends with Ryota understanding his parents’ hearts only after they have died, too late. Bowen’s triangles, and the balance of togetherness and separateness that marks differentiation of self, are used to read a house that unites around the dead eldest and treats the second son as a common trouble — a settlement the writing will not call healthy.
— Contents and key concepts
A family as one organism, and a film that will not walk into a meeting
A family is made of persons, and yet it is treated here as one organism. If one member has a problem, the whole is affected, as a machine is when a single part fails. Recent troubles around entrance exams, a gap between generations, a parent and a child, an extended family, a household living with dementia, a family with a disabled member — all of these are named as reaching the whole house, even when they feel too personal, too ordinary, and too tangled for a social worker to step into easily.
Family therapy, the sources say, still has no single settled definition, being in development in theory and in practice. It is used across psychology, psychiatry, and social work, and in social work the tradition has been a concern for the family’s situation and a service that includes it. Today it is accepted as one area of that work, and the knowledge and skill are used flexibly in the field. At base it is a form of treatment designed for particular problems that affect a family’s health and function — a member’s mental or behavioural health, a major turn in the life of the house. A specialist named Michael Herkopf is cited as saying that this kind of therapy looks at a person’s trouble in the context of the larger family, and that a solution is possible when the dynamics of the group are understood. How the problem arose, and how other members have met it, changes the work.
Family trouble is not treated as belonging to one culture or one country. In Korea, films and other works about family relationships were for a time in fashion. Japan, geographically close and culturally further off, made such a film as well. Kore-eda Hirokazu’s Still Walking is read as a sad, missed meeting among a family. Bae Su-gyeong wrote about that family story in 2010, in a monthly of the Federation of Korean Trade Unions.
A dead elder son, a second son who would not be a doctor
Each summer Ryota, the second son, comes back to the family house with his younger siblings, and with Yukari, the woman he will marry. The eldest, Ryota’s older brother, died fifteen years earlier: he jumped in to save a boy who had gone into the water, and he died. The parents, Toshiko and Kyohei, still compare Ryota with that brother. The elder son had studied well and done as he was told, and the father had wanted to leave him the hospital. Ryota chose another kind of work, and is not well off. When the parents are alone with Yukari they hurt her, saying it would be better not to have a child.
Every year, on the anniversary, the boy the brother saved, Yoshio, comes to the house. Ryota tells his mother the visits are uncomfortable, that the boy should not come; she answers, in a line the writing calls frightening, that she wants to give him the pain of having lost a son. The film ends with Ryota understanding his parents’ hearts only after they have died, too late. The conflict between parent and child is not resolved. What remains is a missed crossing, marked by death. The title is read as a horizontal relationship that, however far one walks, cannot be met.
Bowen’s triangles, and a peace that leaves the second son outside
Early family therapists, the sources say, were more interested in changing the interaction then going on inside a nuclear family than in the family of origin. In Bowen’s theory, when the force that pulls a family together and the force that pulls it apart are in balance, the state is called an ideal, or high differentiation of self. The clinical model also includes a way of looking at a family objectively through a therapeutic relationship. Under stress, Bowen found, two people draw a third into their system and form a triangle: a dynamic, three-person balance that eases an anxious pair. A couple in conflict, for example, may create a conflict with a son and, inversely, a better relationship between husband and wife. The form of the triangle changes with the degree of differentiation of self.
In the film, Toshiko and Kyohei do not divorce. There is the blood tie of a child, a wish not to break the house, and a path that brings Kyohei back to the family’s side. Their attention had tilted toward the eldest, and around the eldest they could gather. That peace is not peace between parent and child. Negative feeling is parked on Ryota as a common trouble, and that is not treated as a healthy way through. They tell him that a child would make divorce harder, and that they need a grandchild of their blood, and they show their dissatisfaction with Yukari. She is family by the institution of a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law, not by blood. Meanwhile, Ryota’s difficult tie with Toshiko sits beside a stronger, more positive tie between Ryota and Yukari, and a relationship between Yukari and Toshiko that can be faced and is not simply bad. Anxious, fused attachment is described, in the theory, as a symbiotic tie with confused boundaries, in which two people become convinced they cannot live without each other.
One therapeutic move, in this frame, is for the therapist to take, for a time, the position of a third in a triangle, keeping a connection between the two spouses and finding the one who is more able to function and more motivated. The film is not offered as a family already cured. It is offered as a house in which a triangle has already been at work, and in which understanding arrives only after a death. The same Korean report, at fuller length, is on CampusDown.
Sources
- Kore-eda Hirokazu, dir., Still Walking; Bae Su-gyeong, “A Family Story: Still Walking,” Monthly Korean Confederation of Trade Unions, 2010.
- Kim Yong-tae, “Family Functioning and the Happy Family: A Theoretical View,” Korea Journal of Counseling 4, no. 3 (2003): 591; Jeong Mun-ja, Jeong Hye-jeong and others, 2012; Kim Yu-suk, 2012; Kim Yeong-geun, 2011; Lee Yu-seop, 2012; Ha Eun-ha, 2010.
Last updated: 14 November 2026
Frequently asked questions
What is the conflict in Still Walking?
Kore-eda Hirokazu’s film follows Ryota, the second son, who comes back to the family house each summer with Yukari, the woman he will marry. His elder brother died fifteen years earlier, jumping in to save a boy from the water. The parents, Toshiko and Kyohei, still compare Ryota with that brother, who had studied well and done as he was told, and to whom the father had wanted to leave the hospital. Ryota chose another kind of work, and is not well off. When the parents are alone with Yukari they hurt her, saying it would be better not to have a child. A boy the brother saved, Yoshio, comes every year on the anniversary; Ryota tells his mother the visits are uncomfortable, and she says she wants to give the boy the pain of having lost a son. The film ends with Ryota understanding his parents’ hearts only after they have died. The writing reads the title as a horizontal relationship that, however far one walks, cannot be met, and as a conflict that is not resolved, only crossed by death.
How is Bowen’s theory used to read that house?
Early family therapists, the sources say, were more interested in changing the interaction inside a nuclear family than in the family of origin. In Bowen, a balance between the force that pulls a family together and the force that pulls it apart is treated as an ideal, or as high differentiation of self. Under stress, two people are found to draw a third into their system, forming a triangle, a three-person balance that eases an anxious pair. A couple in conflict, for example, may create a conflict with a son and, inversely, a better relationship between husband and wife. The shape of the triangle changes with the degree of differentiation. In the film, Toshiko and Kyohei do not divorce, because of the blood tie of a child, and because they could gather around the eldest; Kyohei is drawn back to the family’s side. Peace between the parents is not peace between parent and child. Negative feeling is parked on Ryota as a common trouble, and that is not treated as a healthy way through. They also tell him that a child would make divorce harder, and that they need a grandchild of their blood, and they show their dissatisfaction with Yukari. Ryota’s difficult tie with Toshiko, meanwhile, sits beside a stronger tie between Ryota and Yukari, and a relationship between Yukari and Toshiko that can be faced, and is not simply bad.
What would a therapist do, in this reading?
Family therapy is described as a form of treatment designed for particular problems that affect a family’s health and function. It looks at a person’s trouble in the context of the larger family, as a specialist named Michael Herkopf is cited as saying, and it changes with how the problem arose and how other members have met it. It has no single settled definition, being still in development in theory and in practice, and it is used across psychology, psychiatry, and social work. One move, in Bowen’s frame, is for the therapist to take, for a time, the position of a third in a triangle, keeping a connection between the two spouses and finding the one who is more able to function and more motivated. Anxious, fused attachment is described as a symbiotic tie with confused boundaries, in which two people become convinced they cannot live without each other. The film is not offered as a cured family. It is offered as a house in which a triangle has already been at work, and in which understanding arrives late.
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